Begin Transmission

That's it, let it all out. Let the waterworks flow, get it out of your system. Are you finished? Now we can begin. If I divide by zero does the universe implode? If I drain these walls of years of insane banter what then will make me worse? Is there a whole totality to all of this? Humanity, in its quest to reach its peak, has created several ways to destroy itself and oftentimes congratulates itself for it. First we destroy our houses, then our schools, our jobs and when we have destroyed everything in our path, we destroy our spirits. We destroy each other in so many ways, some like a saccharine tasting wine while some, a brutal yet intense connection. And of course being the theatrical beings that we are, let everything build up while our eyes are closed. We let ourselves get comfortable in our own skin first. And once everything has settled and the guarding eye becomes complacent, we destroy ourselves with one fell swoop. We cut off each others wings and laugh at each others bloody backs, all of us smiling as we do. We spray each others eyes with acid and push ourselves into brick walls. We smash our own faces, whether we do it ourselves or with a little help from others. We destroy that we detest, and become monsters ourselves in the process. Look. An airplane you're flying on's right engine has burst into flames. a quick gust of wind slaps your face, and all you see are bits and pieces of what used to be the airplane's interior flying in front of you. People are being sucked into what seems like a hole in the wall. You see the expressions on their faces and hear their screams as they soar through the air. You notice a relative hanging onto your seat, with his or her weight slowly pulling your seat into the rip in the airplane. All this in under five seconds. What do you do?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Great Haze part 4

"It was getting stale. You know how when cigarettes sit for days on end and their taste changes? It kind of gets like you're smoking dried, rolled up feces." I was running out of excuses. Everybody was telling me that dropping Jeanie was the dumbest thing I had done. Friends were saying that what we had was a good thing, and they kept bugging me for reasons as to why I let Jeanie go. To be honest, I was getting kind of sick of repeating myself. I wanted to write a note explaining why I broke up with Jeanie, then tape it to my forehead so that these buggers would stop it already with the same old questions, day in and day out. If only I had a real answer to give. I think they knew I was bullshitting my way out of further questions by giving these lame analogies.

Jeanie was a model for Cal Carrie's when I met her. She had a penchant for proving to other people that she wasn't just another pretty face. She immersed herself in the arts and had chanced upon a party where I was spinning. I was surprised she knew the songs I sampled in my mixes and even more surprised when she actually sat down to listen to one of my drawn out litanies on philosophy, life, and existence. Once she actually nodded and agreed when I said I believed aliens existed, I knew she was a fake. But, she was hot and I was drunk and horny, so I took her home anyway. Oh, and the sex was good too.

From then, life began to become somewhat interesting again. We would go to parties, gigs and art shows. We were seen as a power couple, and we acted the part too. "Oh, you guys are such a cute couple." "Lots of girls/guys must cry their eyes out whenever they see the two of you together." "Your kids are going to be so cute." And all those other overused phrases people liked to use. Kids. They even mentioned us having kids.

But, as with other women, she lacked that certain something which eventually drew me away from taking things too seriously. Now that i think of it, I don't think I even took her seriously at all. I didn't let anyone know except Stacy, of course. Everyone thought that I was finally settling down, that little old me had finally been grounded. I could fool everyone but what really frustrated me was that I couldn't fool myself.

end of part 4
Posted by do the impossible at 3:26 AM
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