Welcome to the Kill Zone: Menstrual Cycles in Men

Begin Transmission

That's it, let it all out. Let the waterworks flow, get it out of your system. Are you finished? Now we can begin. If I divide by zero does the universe implode? If I drain these walls of years of insane banter what then will make me worse? Is there a whole totality to all of this? Humanity, in its quest to reach its peak, has created several ways to destroy itself and oftentimes congratulates itself for it. First we destroy our houses, then our schools, our jobs and when we have destroyed everything in our path, we destroy our spirits. We destroy each other in so many ways, some like a saccharine tasting wine while some, a brutal yet intense connection. And of course being the theatrical beings that we are, let everything build up while our eyes are closed. We let ourselves get comfortable in our own skin first. And once everything has settled and the guarding eye becomes complacent, we destroy ourselves with one fell swoop. We cut off each others wings and laugh at each others bloody backs, all of us smiling as we do. We spray each others eyes with acid and push ourselves into brick walls. We smash our own faces, whether we do it ourselves or with a little help from others. We destroy that we detest, and become monsters ourselves in the process. Look. An airplane you're flying on's right engine has burst into flames. a quick gust of wind slaps your face, and all you see are bits and pieces of what used to be the airplane's interior flying in front of you. People are being sucked into what seems like a hole in the wall. You see the expressions on their faces and hear their screams as they soar through the air. You notice a relative hanging onto your seat, with his or her weight slowly pulling your seat into the rip in the airplane. All this in under five seconds. What do you do?

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Menstrual Cycles in Men

Yes, you read it right. Men go through almost the same ups-and-downs women go through too, and even have up to four different cycles.

The first one comes in the form of a cycle that goes for 3-4 times an hour. There is a pump of testosterone in men every fifteen minutes, which explains why we're always horny. The second one is composed of fluctuations in the morning, which explains why we love sex during mornings.

The third is the monthly cycle that we share with women. This explains why sometimes we become like prissy little cunts and because of this are told by our friends to, "stop being such a vagina." We could answer, "It's okay, it's just my cycle," but that will only garner even more wisecracks about our sexuality. Maybe that explains my affinity for watching "90210." Then again, maybe not.

The fourth one is where males have higher testosterone levels in October and lower levels in April. This is why summer romances exist, and why most babies are formed towards the end of the year.

Why all the fuss over these meaningless details? Male cycles are barely detectable, but they still exist. The point is, we will always be slaves to something, be it our compulsions, our desires and in this case, our bodily functions.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)